i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
