3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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