Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
