Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
