I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
