haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
