My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
