Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
