Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
