Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
