O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
