I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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