you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
