everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
