Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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