elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
