i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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