I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
