you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she peed on how many people?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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