I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
