Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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