then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
