dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
