y did u give ur computer a hand job?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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