Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
