White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
im holly from the hills drunk
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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