Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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