Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
