I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
