I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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