She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
