I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
