There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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