I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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