He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
