Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
