and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
