dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
