he shaved USA in his pubs
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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