In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
