You really coming over, don't trick.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
not ubering you a puppy
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
