guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
