She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
