He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
