Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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