yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
