So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
