I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
