Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
