How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
